What better time than Thanksgiving week to pause and think about the
abundance in our lives. Most of us have much more abundance than we imagine.
We tend to focus on what we lack and take the rest for granted. That doesn’t
sound very attractive, and it isn’t. To attract good things into
our lives we need to focus on just that – what is good.
How abundantly we think will vary within the areas of our lives. For example,
we may feel quite blessed with family and friends, while feeling a scarcity
of money or with our health or career. Generally speaking, though, we each
have a default setting when it comes to abundance. It is a good exercise
to try to determine your set point.
Look at the diagram below and rate yourself on my abundance & scarcity
scale. Here’s an example: Let’s say you hear that your company’s
revenues are down and there may be lay-offs. Do you immediately think that
you will be laid off and furthermore you will have so much trouble finding
another job that you will loose your home and end your days living out of
a grocery cart? (Rate yourself a 1.) Or do you think that, in the unlikely
that you are laid off, since you have great resilience and a good work ethic,
being laid off might just be what is needed to take your career to the next
level. (Rate yourself a 10.)
Here’s another example: Do you dwell on the feeling that everyone
else seems better off than you, or do you focus on what you’ve been
able to accomplish and all the blessings that are yours? Go ahead, be brutally
honest and rate yourself now. Where is your default setting on most issues?
Abundance____________________________________________________Scarcity
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
While the rating you gave yourself will vary somewhat from one situation
to another, most of us have an abundance/scarcity set point, somewhere between
the two extremes. If we venture too far off that set point we start to feel
uncomfortable. For example, if you tend toward a scarcity mentality, having
thoughts of abundance will feel extravagant, irresponsible, “blue
sky” and reckless. If you tend toward an abundance mentality, dwelling
with scarcity thoughts feels venial, negative and limiting. It seems obvious
that the abundance mentality is desirable, but in my experience, the beliefs
that control our thinking are so deeply held that thoroughly negative people
will defend their scarcity beliefs like cherished pets.
Abundance vs. Scarcity Beliefs
If your set point is at the abundance end of the scale, say 9 or more, you
are thoroughly blessed. Unfortunately the vast majority of us will likely
fall at 6 or below. The best way to move toward abundance is to examine
the beliefs that hold us back. These beliefs were learned early in life,
and as time went by we have searched for evidence that they are true. Every
time we meet inconvenience or disappointment we reinforce the scarcity
belief.
Here are a few questions to help you uncover those beliefs. I hope you
will take a few minutes to write down your answers to help uncover your
story. I have focused these questions on the area of money, but you can
just as easily insert friends, career, etc.
- What is your earliest memory of (money)?
- What was your earliest experience with (money)?
- What was the attitude in your family about (money)?
- What did you hear your parents or family members say about (money)?
- Money doesn’t grow on trees
- Money is the source of all evil
- You can never have enough money
- Don’t take risks; you’re lucky to have what you have
- How was (money) handled in your family? Again what messages did you
get from your mother, your father? What was the emotional feeling about
it?
- What was your biggest fear about (money) when you were younger? What
were your parents’ fears about it?
- What did you hear about others with or without (money)?
It will be helpful to do a little free writing on what you uncover with
the questions above. For example, you may want to look at how your family’s
reaction to money, relationships, etc may be influencing you even today.
If your mother disliked Aunt Annie because she was slim and vivacious, that
may well be a strong influence in your life. Perhaps you believe that if
you are slim or outgoing people won’t like you. Now ask yourself two
more questions:
- What belief(s) have I uncovered that need to be changed? (If I am slim
and outgoing people won’t like me.)
- How can I reframe that belief into a positive statement? (It feels great
to be slim and outgoing and I have many friends.) Our minds believe what
we tell them.
The Culture of Scarcity
Keep in mind that our culture is permeated with scarcity thinking. It starts
early. Were you ever chosen last for a playground team? I was, and believe
me I remember it. Were you too small to make the football squad? The
college entrance process is an exercise in scarcity. Then there is the
scarcity of good jobs and great school systems for our children and getting
the right house in just the right town. Consumerism underscores our obsession
with scarcity, with advertising touting the unending need to be prettier,
thinner, richer, sexier, and less bloated while driving a bigger truck
than anyone else.
What most of us don’t realize, as we frantically race to gobble
up all that is scarce, is that our scarcity beliefs block us from true abundance.
What is abundance? Is it having lots of money, time, energy, freedom and
love? Is it having all the luxuries we can imagine? Is it being able to
take fantastic trips whenever and wherever we like? Is it being surrounded
by loving family and friends? I believe the answer is both yes and
no. Yes, because those are the things we think we want. No, because one
of the saddest people I’ve known was a woman who had all of that,
but for whom there was never enough. On the other hand, I knew a ninety
year old man, confined to a nursing home bed, who exuded abundance.
That Abundant State of Mind
Clearly abundance is a state of mind, and it comes to those who are able
to appreciate what they have in the present. Put another way, abundance
will never come to those who are so busy chasing the dream they fail to
appreciate their lives as they hurry past. They’ll be too busy to
notice.
To have abundance it is essential to lay aside the feelings of scarcity
and to savor the abundance that already exists. Abundance is there if you
take the time to notice. Have you ever felt that if you quite worrying about
an outcome, a bad outcome will surely happen? How crazy is that? We think
we are God! In the Law of Attraction, what we think about is what we draw
to us. So worrying about something makes it more likely to occur. Whatever
you are experiencing now is the result of your past thoughts and beliefs.
As you change your thoughts, you will change your reality.
Create Abundance Now
Who would you be if you let go of your worries and your drive to be bigger,
better, prettier and richer? Who would you be if you quit the chase and
relished the abundance you already have? Who would you be if you let go
of the expectation that abundance will come from a certain person or career,
in a certain way and within a certain timeframe? What would change? Would
you turn into a blob of aimless matter? That seems to be the prevailing
fear?
In order to create abundance you must let go and leap. You must trust
that you are worthy and that your Higher Power intends you to receive all
that is good. You must trust that it will come to you in all of its forms,
from everyone and anyone, and in its perfect time. When you try too hard
you squeeze shut the flow of opportunity. Can you see that? By needing to
have it all your own way, you block abundance.
Perhaps your dreams have been too small. Perhaps by holding so tight to
your own ideas of success you are keeping the door to success closed. Get
creative. Open the door to what is possible for you. (This is very difficult
for scarcity thinking people.) Throw away those ideas of future disappointment
and go crazy. Think of Walt Disney and allow yourself to IMAGINE!
Start Today
I encourage my clients to select an area of their lives, not the most important
area, but one where they can quickly see for themselves how well the Law
of Attraction works in creating abundance. Let’s say you would like
more time alone, to read and do the things you love. Allow yourself to
think how having that time alone would make you feel. Would you feel free
and relaxed? Now here’s the key: look for ways to create those feelings
now, before you have the extra time to yourself. It’s a little like
going on a treasure hunt. Experience one free and relaxed feeling, and
then find another and another. Be open to having those feelings, of freedom
and relaxation, come to you in all forms, in all areas of your life. Focusing
on those feelings will act as a magnet, drawing more and more of them to
you. Remember, we create our own reality. What we experience is the result
of our thoughts.
Earlier I asked who you would be if you let go of your worries and quit
chasing after your self inflicted success construct. I’ll tell you
who – you would be that wonderful, successful person you were naturally
created to become. Stop resisting and start living abundantly.
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