Not everything goes as planned. In late summer, after a series of disappointments,
I found myself focusing on what was wrong, and before I knew it I was feeling
depressed and at loose ends. Then, in the course of preparing for one of
my Attract What Is Good Workshops I came across Debbie Ford’s book, “The
Right Questions.” One of Debbie’s “right” questions
is this: “Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for
what’s wrong?” It was the question I needed to rebalance
my perspective.
In my coaching practice and workshops I meet many people in varying situations.
Some find themselves at a fork in the road where they are overwhelmed, almost
blinded by difficulties. Some are stuck and seeking a more authentic life.
Others have weathered crises and emerged with wisdom, eager to get on with
the next challenge. Regardless of their situation they have one thing in
common; each is responsible for deciding how to respond to the road ahead.
More often than not, the first action they must take is to make the shift
from focusing on what is wrong to focusing on what is right, from living
with chaos and fear to eliminating mental and physical clutter. The Law
of Attraction says that we attract to ourselves whatever we give our focus,
energy and attention to, whether wanted or unwanted. Therefore, when we
focus on what is wrong, we will get more of what is wrong. When we focus
on what is wrong we shirk responsibility for what is, and we close down
the door to opportunity. When we focus on what is right we open the door
to fresh ideas and new beginnings.
What Is Your Attitude Attracting?
I challenge each of you to this exercise: Over the next twenty-four hours,
notice how often you think about what is wrong. I’ll wager that thinking
about what is wrong as opposed to what is right is the default setting
for most people. If you don’t believe me, eavesdrop the next time
you are standing in line to check out at the grocery store. Notice the
banter at work. Read the newspaper. Turn on your TV. What will you hear?
Most likely it will be a litany of complaints about the job, the kids,
the government and the weather. On TV you’ll see what is wrong all
day long if you stay tuned, from the high cost of gasoline to bloody terror,
from morbid obesity to stomach gas. The supply of what is wrong in this
world is endless. Little wonder many of us make it our focus.
Making the shift to looking at what is right enables us to drop the heavy
load of disappointment and regret. Looking at what is right makes enormous
psychic room, enabling us to take responsibility for what is, and to get
on with living. This is not to say that we ignore problems, rather we focus
on affecting change where we can and focusing on what is possible. Making
that shift is a choice.
So I hope you will take up the challenge. Take stock, over the next day
or so. Do you view your job, your friends, your kids, your spouse, your
home, your situation through a lens that looks at what’s right or
at what’s wrong? No matter how dismal your situation I can guarantee
you this: Unless you begin to embrace what is right, no matter how small
that right thing may be, you will never be able to move into the light of
a brighter future.
To quote a friend, “Life has many strange twists and turns.” As
you travel the highway of life there will be bumpy ground. Sometimes you
will be thrown into a ditch where you will feel stuck. If you sit there
in that ditch thinking how awful it all is, if you reject responsibility
for getting out of the ditch, you may never get out. On the other hand,
if you work with what is available and make the decision to focus on what
is right in the ditch, you will climb out onto the open road ahead. How
you view your circumstances makes all the difference, and it is a choice
that is available to each of us every single day.
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