“Summer afternoon…summer afternoon, the two most
beautiful words in the English language.” – Henry
James
I walked into an old fashioned lumber store yesterday and strange things
happened to my body: my shoulders relaxed, my muscles eased and my breathing
felt easy. I had long admired the big, white, barn-like building. The company
specializes in brass weather vanes, and ours needed some repair. Inside
were rough wooden shelves and row upon row of wooden bins stained dark from
over 100 years of hands reaching for nails and screws and fasteners of every
kind. There was the pungent aroma of sawdust and old oak floors. In one
corner was an open office, with big wooden desks and chairs with comfy cushions,
the kind I remember from childhood. The man who waited on us was kind, knowledgeable
and unhurried. It was hard to leave.
Back outside I noticed that fast food and other chain stores surround
the old store. Cars and trucks clogged the corner. Turning out of the parking
lot was a competitive exercise in squeezing in to avoid a crash – an
exercise we engage in most of the time, in so many ways. The contrast between
the oasis of simplicity inside and the hubbub of what we call “normal” was
astonishing.
Simplify in a Frenzied Society
We can’t turn the calendar back, nor would we choose to even if we
could. So many good things have enriched our lives since that lumber company
first opened its doors. Still I have to ask whether we have spun out of
control with our rampant consumption, our insatiable thirst for newness
and our unfettered need for speed. Has the self-perpetuating vortex of “progress” cost
us simplicity, balance and a feeling of well-being?
Many of my clients and students have expressed dismay at how out of balance
their lives have become. The efficiencies that were introduced to save us
time have enabled us to work longer and faster, with little differentiation
between work and down time. Even when we play there’s an emphasis
on speed, as though we must squeeze in a bit of fun because it was on the
calendar. No where is this more apparent than on the golf course where,
if golf carts had lights, they would be blinking to play through.
Is it time to simplify? Here’s a place to start.
If you agree that simplifying your life would be a good thing, here are
some questions to get you started.
- What is most important to you? What do you love to
do? The answer is different to every person. For me, it’s simple:
I love my family, I love my golden retrievers, I love sailing and golf,
I love spending time with friends, preferably out of doors. And I love
the work I do. For others, it may be hiking or mountain biking or creating
music or anything, really. Answer this question first.
- What can you eliminate that will make more
space for what is important? If you say “yes” because
you feel you should, not because you want to, that’s a candidate
for simplifying. Examine your commitments, and ask yourself if they are
really important, if they give you value for your time, if they give you
energy or drain you.
- The same questions can be asked of all the stuff you own — do
you really love it? What is truly essential? Another question
you can ask, to clarify your thinking: If my house were destroyed, which
things would I want to replace? Get rid of all the rest. That includes
grown-up “toys” that seemed like a good idea but are now more
of a nuisance. Stuff creates stress and keeps you from enjoying the simple
pleasures.
- This same concept can be applied to anything else in your life — your
work, the information you read every day, the television programs you watch,
the people in your life. Know what’s essential, what you love, what’s
important … and get rid of or change the rest.
- What you’re left with - If you get rid of the
extraneous stuff, what do you have left? Imagine the simplicity of being
able to truly enjoy what you love without the need to be doing something
else. I think that may be a good definition of a grown-up.
Take this challenge
Make a list of what matters most to you. (Yes, that includes putting
food on the table.) Use that list as a filter for choices about how you
spend your time. Do the choices you make take you closer to or farther
from those things? Do your choices lead you to simplicity or to energy-draining
activities?
If you had a summer afternoon to fill with things you love, how would
you spend it? Now for the real challenge: I want you to go out and
enjoy that summer afternoon – carve your own island of simple pleasures.
See how good it feels, and then do it again. Understand that even though
we can’t turn back the calendar to a simpler time, we can put simplicity
back into our lives, if we choose to.
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