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by Joan Collins
©Joan Collins. All Right reserved.
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Greetings!
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Just so you'll know, I'm not selling sweat socks or basketballs.
I'm sending this newsletter to you because I want to let you know that I've
become a personal and business coach, and what I'm offering is special
one-on-one assistance to those who want the best for their lives. For
years athletes, actors and musicians have used coaches to bring out their
personal best. Recently business executives, professionals and individuals
are achieving astounding results with coaches too.
I'm thrilled to
be in this new profession. For one thing I see it as an opportunity to use
my background and education (M.Ed. in educational psychology and 20 years
in marketing and public relations) to help people get to the top of their
game. What could be better? Everybody wins! Coaching also gives people the
ability to live simpler and richer lives-a power combination we can all
use.
So there you have it. Look for The Coach's Bench twice each
month. Each edition will contain one of my articles. If you find what you
read to be helpful, I hope you'll pass it along to your friends and
associates so they can subscribe.
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Are You Missing Your Life?
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OK, so that's not a question you get asked every day, but here's the
rest of it: Are you spending so much time regretting the past and dreading
the future that you are missing right now, today, this minute?
Laura, a young cancer survivor recently told me how her view has
changed. "I was missing my life," she said. "Before cancer I thought a lot
about the years I wasted partying after college, not getting a decent job,
not saving money. Then once I had a good job I worried about my boss, my
mortgage payments, just everything. Now I know I was missing all the good
stuff, like watching two goofy birds bicker in a tree outside my window."
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Try This Exercise
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Laura's life altering experience can be a wake up call for all of us.
I know it hit me with a jolt. Try this exercise: For a day try to be
conscious of your thoughts. How many are seated in the past? How many
float off into the future? Of course we are all products of our past; we
all operate in that context, but we don't want to let the past dominate
the present, and we don't want to harbor regret. Remember the only thing
we can change about the past is how we perceive it. Let it go.
During your test day, try to figure out how much time you spend
thinking of the future. It's great to dream and hope for good times ahead,
and it's absolutely essential to plan responsibly for the future, but
remember that while you're dreaming about someday, you're missing today.
Another habit a lot of us have concerning the future is spending too much
time with those old enemies, fear and dread. Did you know studies have
shown that 90% of what we worry about never happens? Think how much better
off we'd be if we worried 90% less!
The future is truly out of our
control. Sure, we can work to influence it, but none of us knows what the
future holds. Dale Carnegie in his classic book "How To Stop Worrying And
Start Living" urges living in day-tight compartments. "Shut the iron doors
on the past and the future...live each day until bedtime," he counsels.
Finally, during your test day, how many of your thoughts are
seated in the present? How many deal with the people, the season, the
colors, the conversations, laughter, smells, food, music and love that
come your way just for that one day? Of course there will be unpleasant
things too, but just for one day I'm betting the good that you choose to
notice will far outweigh the negative.
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Some Ideas For Getting Back Into Your Life
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Idea #1 - Make a habit of living each day in the moment
So if we can't control the past or the
future, that leaves the present, warts and all. What we can control in the
present is our response to it. In other words, it's up to us. The good
news is that living in the present moment, one day at a time, can become a
habit, a very beneficial habit. We free up incredible energy to
concentrate on the tasks at hand when we're not bogged down with baggage
from another time. We're a lot more present and loving to our family and
friends, and we're healthier too. And if you don't think it's fun to savor
every bite and color and smile, just try it.
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Idea #2 - Recognize treasure when it shows up
My friend Joanne was enjoying breakfast out on the
island of Kauai. She was seated on a lanai that was covered in purple
bougainvillea blossoms. The blue Pacific roared in the distance, birds
chirped everywhere, and above the distant mountains a double rainbow
glowed against retreating rain clouds. Joanne says she felt such
contentment she gestured toward the rainbow and commented to her
companion, "There is no greater treasure there, this is truly the end of
the rainbow." A few minutes later a couple was seated at the next table.
When they had a chance to take in the scene that lady said to her husband,
"If only we could get to the treasure at the end of that rainbow."
Like the lady at the next table, too many of us spend time looking
for and needing what is just beyond our reach. When unexpected people or
solutions show up, we hardly recognize or appreciate them even though
they're often better than what we thought we needed.
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Idea #3 Say "yes" to life!
There's no use resisting what life has to offer. We're
all going to get our share of joy and pain. As we grow older we tend to
forget how to accept joy as a fully legitimate part of living. Perhaps we
forget because we distrust joy, knowing that pain may be just around the
corner. We forget how to wiggle our toes in the sand and sing gloriously
as we drive down a country road. Oh we may have our moments of joy, but we
don't want to be caught with our guard down. At the same time we tend to
feel that there's something wrong with us if we encounter serious business
difficulty and personal sorrow. We put on a good show, but inside we feel
as though we're the only ones with less than perfect lives. Saying "yes"
to life means that we fully accept the joys and the pain that are bound to
come our way. Saying "yes" allows us to be honest about life, to seize it
with both hands, and to live each day in the moment.
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Try My Complimentary Coaching Session
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Several of my clients have benefited greatly from utilizing these
ideas. There are many other ideas to explore, of course. I have a few
openings in my practice for people who are serious about getting the best
for their lives. Whether you're a professional, a business owner or a
savvy individual, that's what I want for you - the best life you can
imagine. I'd like to offer you a complimentary coaching session. Email me
at jcollins@a2btracking.com
to set up a half-hour telephone session or call 781-934-6804 and leave a
message. All coaching sessions are strictly confidential.
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